You're living such a tiring life because you want to be a "good person" too much. Afraid of disappointing your parents, upset your friends, or being talked about by colleagues. You carefully trim yourself, only to end up as a potted plant that no one can find fault with, but that even you don't recognize anymore. You need to understand that freedom comes at a cost, and that cost is "being disliked." When you're willing to hang up the phone you don't want to answer, refuse the dinner invitations you don't want to attend, and let others be disappointed in you, your life is just beginning. So here's the question: do you want to be a perfect dead person in others' mouths, or a lively "bastard" in your own world?