In China, the toxicity of shame is harmful because it often stems from unreasonable humiliations experienced in childhood, gradually conditioning us to attack ourselves by negating our entire being. Many normal things, such as concerns about appearance, emotional sensitivity, physical development, or gentle personality traits, are labeled as "not supposed to be." Over time, we no longer just reflect on specific behaviors but feel that we are inherently not good enough. Even as we grow up in more accepting environments, this fear of being constantly judged and invalidated remains in our hearts, leading to ongoing self-criticism. The true way to help ourselves is to start becoming aware of these internalized voices, distinguish which criticisms are unreasonable, learn to feel compassion for the self that was once humiliated, and acknowledge that being ordinary and authentic is inherently worthy of acceptance.