GateUser-f6f99e25

We've been dating for three years and are planning to get married.
The woman wants a bride price of 300,000 yuan, and I said I can't afford it.
She said, "Then 200,000, no less."
I said 100,000.
Her mother said, "150,000, plus a down payment on a house."
I said I'll pay the down payment, but the house will be in my name.
Her mother said, "That's not acceptable, the house must be in both names."
I said I'll pay the down payment, but will you still make the mortgage payments?
Her mother said, "You will."
I said, then why should the house be in both names?

The company policy is to leave work at 6:00, but no one leaves.
I left at 6:01.
The next day, HR talked to me: "You left too early yesterday."
I said, "It's 6:00 when work ends, I left at 6:01, just one minute early?"
HR said, "Everyone else didn't leave, but you left, which makes it seem like you're not proactive."
I asked, "What time does everyone leave?"
HR said, "Around 7:30."
I said, "Then I'll leave at 7:30 tomorrow."
The next day, I left at 7:30 and found everyone was still there.

My mom gave me a talisman and said it had been blessed, and I shouldn't get it wet.
I took it off while showering and placed it on the table, but the cat took it away.
I searched for a month but couldn't find it.
Later, I got into a car accident; the front of the car was smashed, but I was unharmed.
My mom said the talisman protected me from disaster.
I asked, "The cat took it away, how did it protect me?"
My mom said, "The cat took the place of the talisman for you. Didn't you notice that after that, the cat disappeared?"
I thought about it, and indeed, the cat never came back.

In the supermarket, an auntie was squeezing tomatoes.
She squeezed each one and then put it down.
The uncle next to her couldn't stand it anymore: "How can others buy if you've already squeezed them?"
The auntie didn't even lift her head: "If I don't squeeze, how do I know if they're good or not?"
The uncle said: "You squeeze and then you know? Are you a tomato detector?"
The auntie finally looked up: "I've been eating tomatoes for sixty years, my hand is a detector.
If you don't believe me, then buy some rotten ones and don't cry."

Why are young people not having children nowadays?
Let me tell you a secret: it's not that they can't afford to have kids, but that they don't dare to entrust their children to this system.
You think it's a money issue? You're wrong.
Families earning 30k yuan a month still don't dare to have children because they've calculated a figure: from kindergarten to university graduation, excluding tuition fees, just the extra costs to prevent their children from being eliminated by the system—tutoring classes, interest classes, school district housing, relationship fees—is an endless pit.

A colleague went to the temple to make a wish, saying that if he passed the civil service exam, he would donate a thousand to the bodhisattva. He passed, but he was reluctant, so he only donated one hundred. That night, he dreamed, and the bodhisattva said, “The thousand you wished for, you only gave one hundred. I’ll handle it according to the one hundred standard.” When he woke up, he shrugged it off and didn’t give it much thought. On his first day at work, his supervisor said, “Originally, you were assigned to a relaxed department, but it’s full now, so you’ll go to the window.” He worked

There was only me and a stranger in the company elevator. He looked at me and said, "Young man, you have a lot of hair." I was a bit stunned: "Thank you?" He sighed: "When I was your age, I had even more hair than you. Now..." He touched his shiny bald head. I said, "Uncle, that's a symbol of wisdom." His eyes lit up: "Then are you willing to trade three centimeters of wisdom for my head's troubles?"

I saw a course on my Moments: "Cognitive Breakthrough: From Earning 5,000 Yuan a Month to Making a Million a Year," priced at 1,999.
The copy says: "You can't earn money beyond your cognition. Investing in yourself is the highest return on investment."
I bought it.
The course has 30 lessons, the first 5 explain "Why you need to improve your cognition," the middle 20 cover "The thinking patterns of successful people," and the last 5 are "Student cases"—all screenshots of annual income of one million.

The agent took me to see the house: "Bro, this is an authentic first-time buyer property, right at the subway station, with complete school district and commercial facilities. The down payment is only 800k." I asked, "Which school is in the school district?" He said, "A branch of a famous school, opening next year." I asked, "Is there any documentation?" He took out his phone: "Look, this is the master plan. The developer's promise." I bought it.

On the registration app, a "National Medical Master" special appointment at a top-tier hospital, 800 yuan, was gone in seconds.
I asked someone to book it for me.
After two hours of waiting in line, I went in. The master looked at me once, then lowered his head to write a prescription: "Thick tongue coating, heavy dampness, avoid cold and raw foods, exercise more. Go to the first floor to pick up the medicine, next patient."
The whole process took less than a minute.
When I went to pick up the medicine, the cost of the Chinese medicine was 1800 yuan.
The pharmacist said, "This prescr

Taking wedding photos, sales recommended package: 6999, 60 retouched photos, includes album, photo frame, poster.
I think it's okay.
After choosing the photos, the photographer said: "Your group shot is so good, 60 photos are not enough at all. Add one more retouched photo for 80 yuan, add an album for 500."
My wife’s eyes lit up, and in the end, we added 40 more retouched photos and two albums, spending an extra 4200.
At home, the more I thought about it, the more suspicious I felt, so I asked a friend who has worked in this industry.

There is a free legal consultation booth at the neighborhood entrance.
I happened to have a contract dispute, so I sat down and talked for half an hour.
The lawyer was very professional, analyzing everything clearly, and finally said:
"You're sure to win this case. I'll represent you, only charging 5,000 yuan."
I felt like I had gotten a great deal and signed the power of attorney on the spot.
The day before the court hearing, the lawyer suddenly said:
"The other party has connections, and the case is difficult to fight. I suggest mediation."

I was waiting to see a specialist at the hospital, and I had been in line for an hour, with twenty people ahead of me.
Suddenly, someone patted my shoulder: "Brother, 200 yuan, I'll swap places with you."
I said no. He increased the price to 500.
I said no. He said 1,000.
I stood up and left, giving him my spot.
I went to the back of the line and queued again for ten minutes, and the previous spot was called.
He went in, and after three minutes, he came out.

Community property management charges arbitrarily, and complaints from residents are useless.
Old Zhang's friend gives him some advice:
You go to the property manager and say that you know someone from the fire brigade,
who will come next week to inspect the fire passages.
The property manager immediately refunds the illegal charges,
and clears the clutter in the hallways.
Old Zhang asks his friend: Do you really know someone from the fire brigade?
The friend says: No, I don't.
Old Zhang says: Then what should I do if he asks me next week?

The company asked all employees to sign a confidentiality agreement, which was twenty pages long.
No one read it, and everyone signed it.
After a programmer left, he discovered that the agreement stated: "Within three years after leaving, you shall not engage in work related to the same industry."
He asked HR, "Isn't this illegal?"
HR said, "Legal or not, that's another matter. You sign first, and we'll treat it as valid."
He didn't take it seriously and went to work for a competitor.
The original company sued him, claiming damages of five million yuan.

Company internal referral policy: Recommend someone to join, and after three months, receive a 2,000 yuan reward.
I recommended my former colleague, who is very skilled technically.
He worked for two months after joining, then was laid off, with the reason being "unsatisfactory during the probation period."
I asked HR, and HR said, "He doesn't fit the company culture."
I asked, "What company culture?"
HR said, "Working overtime until 11 o'clock, but he leaves at 9:30 every day."
I said, "Then why did you hire him?"

I saw a beggar on the roadside, and I gave him ten yuan.
He looked up at me and said, "Brother, lend me a thousand, I'll pay you back tomorrow."
I said, "You're a beggar, what do you have to pay it back with?"
He stood up, wiped his face, and took out a set of car keys from his worn cotton-padded jacket: "I drive a Rolls-Royce, just experiencing life. Do you lend or not?"
I said, "Then why do you still beg?"

To get my child into a key elementary school, I sold my original three-bedroom apartment, took out a loan to buy a 30-square-meter school district house, costing 120,000 per square meter.
On the first day I moved in, the neighbor told me: "Do you know? The designated elementary school for this area is moving next year."
I said it was impossible; the agent said it wouldn't change for at least five years.
The neighbor said: "You believe what the agent says? He's just my ex-brother-in-law, and he was the one who told me this news."
I was stunned.

Take the cat to the pet store for boarding before a business trip.
The shop owner said, "Don't worry, we send videos every day."
On the first day, I received a video of the cat eating canned food.
On the second day, the cat was sunbathing.
On the third day, the cat was fighting with another cat.
On the fourth day, the video showed a dog.
I called and asked, "Where is my cat?"
The shop owner said, "Oh, the dog from yesterday scared your cat away, and we haven't found it yet."
I asked, "Whose dog is the one in the video?"